Coaches holding the space with mindfulness

Often as coaches, we feel we need to provide a tool, tip or process to support the client to move forward. In other words, we need to be DOING something, so the client can achieve what they want from the coaching. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is let go of having to DO anything and hold the space for the client.

Simply BEING there in presence rather than trying to fix or change the situation. Being open to whatever arises within the session.

The holding space allows a deeper connection with the client and thus a deeper level of trust. This deeper level of trust then supports the client to explore at a deeper level what is underlying the issue or challenges they are facing, which allows them to make long-term sustainable changes.

What does it mean to hold the space?

Holding the space means being able to sit with your client in absolute presence, and ‘hold the space’ for whatever arises.

You’re holding the space for thoughts, feelings, beliefs, perceptions, the client’s true self, his personality, the inner judge, behaviours, potential, positive and negative aspects, and everything else that arises in a session. It’s about not rejecting or judging anything and using whatever arises to create new awareness.

In order to be able to hold the space, we need to be aware of our own issues or ‘stuff’ that gets triggered in the session. We need to be aware of when we’re trying to get the client to see a particular solution that we think is right, or we feel inadequate and thus try different strategies to feel better, like giving advice. By being mindfully aware of our own stuff, we can make sure this doesn’t interfere with the client’s process.

Keys to Holding the Space

• Hold the space for yourself first. Make sure you have supported yourself to be fully present with the client.
• Give yourself permission to hold the space and let go of having to do anything else. Experiment and notice what opens up in the session as result of simply being in presence with your clients.
• Notice your judgments, attachments, and agendas. Be aware of how this gets in the way of holding the space.
• Allow the client to fully express themselves. This includes holding the space for emotions, fears, anger, drama, and whatever else arises in the space.
• Trust the holding space. Trust that by holding the space, the session will progress in a way that best serves the client.
• Support your client to connect with his inner knowing. Trust that he has the inner resources to understand how to move forward in any situation.
• Acknowledge when you can’t hold the space for the client. Either let the client know, refer the client to someone else, or postpone the session.
• Schedule your clients for when it is easier for you to hold the space. If, at the end of a long day, you don’t have the holding space for clients, then don’t schedule sessions for that time.
• Start the session with a mindfulness practice. This will allow you both to quiet the noisy mind and for you to hold the space in the session.
• Let others hold the space for you. To be able to truly hold the space we need to allow others to hold the space when we need it. This means allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to be supported in this way. It means giving up trying to be something we’re not and just being ourselves.