Supporting clients to access intuitive intelligence to make decisions

Have you ever had the experience of coaching a client who needs to make a decision and throughout the coaching session they just seem to go around and around in circles? They gain some clarity about the decision from the coaching, however, start doubting themselves and arrive at the next session further confused. You might even start to doubt your ability as a coach. Perhaps there is an easier and simpler way to support clients to make a decision?

Stephanie (client name changed to protect their privacy) is a coaching client who is unhappy in her current role within a large organisation. She needs to make a decision about whether to stay in her current role, find another role in the same organisation or find a role in another organisation.

In the beginning of our first session, she tells me she has been going around and around in her mind trying to decide what to do and is starting to go crazy from overthinking it. One minute she will make a decision to leave and the next she will doubt herself. She also shows me her list of pros and cons, which is very extensive and makes a good argument for each option.

As we start to talk I realise that she has done plenty of thinking and talking about this decision already. We could spend the rest of the session talking through the options, the pros and cons, and she might even decide. However, I’m sensing that there is an easier and simpler way to support her to make this decision. A way that supports her to access more information than simply relying on her thinking mind.

For some clients it might feel unfamiliar to start listening and accessing this intuitive and somatic (body) intelligence. It requires focusing a little less on trying to think our way to a decision and leaning more into sensing their body, feelings and other senses. The client needs to be in a calm and centred space to listen to these very subtle sensations. This is where mindfulness can support clients. The practice of mindfulness supports clients to be more present to what is happening internally on a more subtle level.

One way to access this level of information is to simply ask ‘what is your gut telling you? or ‘What does your heart say?’ This approach often works to get the clarity the client needs about the decision. However, if the client is a little unfamiliar with tuning into intuition and their body, then a guided process can support them to get more familar with this way of working.

With Stephanie, I guided her through an intuitive and somatic decision-making exercise. I introduced the exercise as an experiment to see if we could access more information about this situation, by including her inner experience of each option. The following is the process I guided her through.

1. Identify the options

For this client, I asked her to outline the different options related to the decision of next steps for her career. For example, to stay in the current job, take a new position in the same company or a different company.

2. Mindfulness Practice

Then start with a short mindfulness practice to support the client to get into a calm and connected space. This could simply be an exercise to focus on their breath. By focusing on breathing in and out, the client is supported to calm their nervous system, which might be aroused by trying to think about the decision.

3. Connect with the senses

Then I asked the client to focus on the different options one by one, by imagining they took that option. So for this example, I asked the client to imagine staying in her current job and instead of focusing on her thoughts, I will ask her to close her eyes and focus on what happens in her body, how she feels, what she sees or imagines or hears, what her gut is telling her or how her heart feels about this option.

4. Keep exploring the senses

This technique is based on bringing mindfulness to all the senses i.e. all the sources of information about this decision. Including where the client senses this path or option might lead. It is also important to support the client to stay with the body and what they are sensing, rather than starting to anaylse or make conclusions too soon from the information that is arising from the exploration.

We’re not excluding the thinking mind, as there are useful thoughts and connections that arise naturally when we explore our intuitive and somatic experience. However, it is useful to focus on capturing the thoughts and then bringing the attention back to the clients intuitive feelings and body sensations.

5. Coaching to develop insights

After each option has been explored, you can start to support the client to make connections and further develop insights that arose during the exercise. Sometimes the client has a clear insight about which option to take. All of sudden it feels so simple and clear, whereas before when focusing on thinking it was confusing.

At other times, the client might not have a clear decision however they will have more information that can expand the coaching conversation and lead to further insights.

For example, this client had a clear insight that whatever option she took it needed to support her well-being. That she needed space to relax and enjoy life, so this meant work would be a secondary, not primary focus. This hadn’t even occurred to her before. It wasn’t on her list of pros and cons. She had been caught in her old thinking about finances, achievement and what others thought she should do. Shortly after the session based on this insight, the client decided to take a new job that offered more flexible hours and less pressure.

By focusing on exploring the senses and tapping into the client’s intuitive and somatic intelligence, allows the client to focus the attention away from overthinking the decision. This then allows the client to be more creative and insights will arise more easily to inform the client of the best path to take in a situation.